Monday, June 4, 2012

Another week with challenges I need to go through
Patience is all I need for the moment with the current situation that I'm facing
To leave in a house whereby you cant trust anyone is tough though
I just miss those times where I don't need to worry so much about those problems
At one point everything seems to be perfect but now..
Money is just the devil which destroy everything
It is too late now to complain or do anything about it
No point of crying
No point of being angry
No point of blaming anyone
Because everything is done and its all over
Poor Mum
Sometimes I just pity her but then she seems not to believe with my instinct
This is the price that she had to pay
She didn't learn for the past experience because she believe too much on her beloved son
Believe every single on what they say
Look what happened now
All her hard work pension is all gone just like that
Now she knows why I hate them so much and did all this
Ignoring them, rarely talk to them
Because I learn the unforgettable mistake which my future and dream almost being destroy
Luckily with the help of God, I manage to make it through
I wont forgive them with what they did to me and my family
I ask God to give the retribution to them who had done this to us
I wish that I can take all her pain away
But I cant
I had so much on my plate
It seems unbearable for me.
I'm so tired
Tired with the situation that I'm facing
Tired with school work which keep piling
Oh God please help me  


 

| Breaking Down. 4:31:00 PM
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Thursday, May 31, 2012

Am I being unreasonable here?
I'm always think that people out there don't care about me
Or is it just my thinking?
What am I suppose to do?
To care and not to care?
To be selfish all I care?
A week of challenges and will continue facing it for few months to come
I hadn't been able to cope well over these few days and it will continue for few more weeks till this body are able to accept what is happening right now.
Trying adapting very hard going to school and back home alone by myself
Trying to tell myself that it wont be the same again for the moment
Trying my best to understand the situation that I am in
But the negative thoughts is just too strong for me to overcome
Trying hard to eliminate this feeling but sometimes I just cant
S.O.S someone help me
I shall change myself to a better person
Insya Allah =]

| Breaking Down. 11:43:00 PM
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Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Missing something in life

| Breaking Down. 12:18:00 PM
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Friday, May 4, 2012

Struggling with my modules
I hated it much
But what can I do
No matter how much I complain, there's nothing I can change the modules or the situation
Hiax
I don't know what to do
The more I try not to hate it the more the modules hate me
It seems that I don't understand what the lecturer is talking about
At some point of time,I get what the lecturer is saying but it just too hard to absorb
It makes it harder when the interest is not there
Trying hard to accept the reality but I can't
Ouh well like what I said to my friend
Not to give up when facing difficulties
Yes I remember my mentor once said to me about the determination that I had in me
I will use it to keep me striving
For now, I shall take one step at the time
Feel so afraid of the time constraint
Everything seems to travel so fast

| Breaking Down. 5:17:00 PM
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Monday, April 23, 2012

Today is the first day of school semester
Can you imagine that?
I'm in year 3 now
Ouh gosh!
A few more months and I will say sayonara to books
3 years ago I was a freshie
But now a senior
This semester seems to be tough
I should put aside all the dislikes about these modules so that I can concentrate better
Even though I don't really like my course, at the end of the day that is what I'm spending on for these 3 years of people's money to study
So I'm gonna try my best to study for this semester
I hope I can pull up my GPA at least
Jiayou redha!!

| Breaking Down. 10:30:00 PM
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Tuesday, April 10, 2012

What is life without conflict?
But then it just make it more complicated
Why do we have a conflict in the first place when all we get is frustration and hatred?
Don't we live to be happy?
To have peace?
I just don't understand about the "politics" that has been going around in this house
I wonder when will it ever stop
Will it ever stop in the first place?
Hmm
All because of word of mouth that all went wrong
Due to bad mouthing people, life of the others affected
Relationship between sister and sister, mother and daughter are affected
Maybe relationship between cousin and cousin also will affects
Why this happening right now when everything seems to be alright?
Every day thinking about what will happen next to my life
Will it be the same?
More fights?
More peace?
As if I'm in somekind of war
This is worse than war
Because it just kills me slowly deep inside...

| Breaking Down. 3:45:00 PM
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Friday, April 6, 2012

Irritated by them
Can they just go out from this house?
I wish I had wings that I can fly away from here
I just want to have silence and peaceful life
I had enough of this shouting and screaming
I cant take in anymore
Every second
Every minute they are making noise
My ears is hurting
My heart is bleeding
Till when they want to stay here?
In that room?
Not embarrassed living with your parents?
Ouh well
I only can state my feelings here
2 weeks of break
I hope that I can have peace for these 2 weeks of staying at home
God show me the way

| Breaking Down. 1:31:00 PM
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Inspirations